The Secret of Life

As I was sitting here thinking about what my next blog post should be (following a promise to my husband that I would write a new post every week), the words to that old Faith Hill song popped into my head: the secret of life is...there ain't no secret.

It is not uncommon knowledge that I am constantly struggling with what to do with my life. Do I go back to school (if so, to be a nurse, or a counselor, or to get my MBA?), or do I work for a non-profit to fulfill my desire to help others, or do I get a job solely for more money? What do I do? What is right? My mom just smiles and nods her head as I tell her every "new idea of the week."

I ask myself the questions above over and over again in my head, and then freeze because each option brings up so many more questions. If I go back to school, how do we pay for it? How could I do that to us now that we are finally getting settled financially? Dave needs a new car - how could I not have an income to help us get that? If I get a new job - will it have as many vacation days? Will the hours be worse? Will I like the people as much?

What if I spend my entire life in advertising and wake up to find myself at age 50 in a job I hate because I was too afraid to change.

That is the question that's at the heart of the matter. Why am I so afraid of change? Every decision I have made in my life to this point has led me to something better. I have a fabulous husband, dog and house. I have 2 retirement accounts and no credit card debt. I obviously have the ability to make sound decisions (let's be honest, not all the time, but hey, who's perfect?).

I think this next move is much tougher because I have a family, as small as it may be, it is one. And as a woman, when you throw in the issue of kids (when do you want to have them, do you want to stay home with them?, etc.) that just adds all sorts of new complications. And excuses.

I am still here because I'm afraid of what could happen to me. However, that's where I need to listen to Faith and remember - that there is no secret to life. Whatever decisions I make in the coming year (that's my timing, 1 year) will definitely lead me somewhere new, somewhere challenging and probably somewhere better. But if not, you know what? I'll be ok. And probably better off for at least trusting God enough to try something new.