Limbo and Dreams

Limbo. That frustrating, all-encompassing place that is in-between starting and finishing, and not close enough to either to make quitting whatever you are doing ok.

Dreams. What are you able to have once you are out of that state of limbo.

I have been through a mini personal journey over the past week from the current and comfortable, through a state of limbo, and out on the other end, to a place of dreams. Is limbo fun? No. Is working hard and jumping through ridiculous and tedious hoops fun? Not always. Is finally figuring something out and getting where you wanted to be fun? YES.

On my last day of holiday vacation from work (yes, of course I waited until the last day) I began really looking into nursing school. Have I talked about it forever? Yes. Had I filled out the initial application at IUPUI to start the process? Yes. Had I really looked into the details and/or made a commitment to do it? No.

So on this last day of break that I spent googling class pre-requisites and application requirements, and calling IUPUI, Ivy Tech, and IU School of Nursing - I took the plunge. From safety and security into limbo land. Which I may add, is not a place I have been for a long time.

As I began to research which classes I needed to take and where, I began to realize that if I do want to go back to nursing school - this is the time to do it! It was almost as everything was arranged perfectly to get my pre-reqs done quickly, while still working - and in the order they needed to be taken. As far as I can tell - if I had not jumped into the process now - it would take me several more years to get everything completed - just to apply to school. Who says there is no such thing as divine intervention?

However, my perfectly arranged schedule was not quite as easy to get to. Because it was so late in the game to sign up for classes - it took me days, two campus visits, dozens of phone calls, filling out multiple forms, learning how to use two university webistes, and sending several not pleasant emails to get anywhere.

But look at me! A week later, I am enrolled in 2 of the 3 classes I need to apply for nursing school, have my books ordered and am back in school for the first time in 4 years. And it feels really good.

I never really knew if I had it in me to make a big life change. Are there still lots of obstacles and problems I am going to have to solve over the next few years? Yes.

But this little exercise in making a tough choice, and working hard to get from point a to point b been fabulous for me. And proof that I really can do anything if I put my mind too it and trust in God to get me there.

So I did it. I officially started the next chapter in my life. And from a place where I let all my doubts and challenges discourage me and keep me where I was, to a place where I can dream about what my future might be like and have hope for something better, I can tell you - it's much better over here.