So I had an amazing, clarifying, eye opening experience a few weeks ago. It happened, and instantly, after my initial surprise had passed, my first thought was “I need to write a blog about this”. But then I got to work and had a ridiculous number of emails waiting for me, and so it goes. My day was gone. And then the next and the next and the next.
However, this experience has been with me for a few weeks now, and I still want to share, so here goes. At the time, I had just had a job interview a few days prior, for a job I was REALLY excited about, that pays a LOT more than my current job (which subsequently would make things a LOT easier on Dave and I). I felt like I had done well, but then as time passed I started to over analyze, and rethink and wonder what I could have done better. By this point, I had talked myself into thinking it had gone terribly (which it didn’t). But, it was unbelievably stressing me out.
I was driving to work (and stressing, clearly) when I remembered the old phrase “give it to God”. So I just started praying (well, really just talking to God/myself). I think I said something along the lines of “Oh my God, I cannot handle this anymore. I do NOT need anymore stress in my life right now. I can’t do anything about that interview, WHY is it driving me insane??” Or something similar, but probably more crazy and rambling. And then literally, in that instant, I was filled with this HUGE sense of calm and peace. Seriously unbelievable. It was like all the stress I had (about that, and many other things) was just GONE. Totally gone. I remember thinking, holy shit – I should have done that a LONG time ago! I know there is a lot of scripture, and verses and even poetry about God bearing the weight of our problems, and getting us through seemingly impossible times, but I have NEVER experienced anything like that before. Ask and you shall receive I guess!
But then, my mind starts working and thinks, “WOW that feeling was SO amazing, could I ever, myself, give that feeling to someone else? Could I ever bear their burdens with that much grace and unending love? If I could ever in my life provide even a fraction of that sort of peace to someone else, how great would that be?” So, as it turns out, as most of you know, there are just a few people in my life right now who have some pretty heavy stuff going on. So, I have a few potential burdens to choose from. Kidding. Clearly if we could all do that so powerfully, we would all be God.
But, this experience has certainly opened my eyes to what the simple act of providing kindness, and grace and peace to others can do. I have challenged myself to become more gracious, and giving, and if I can, in anyway possible, make anothers burden easier to bear, then I will do just that.
This summer has been really, really challenging for me, but I honestly think a lot of the problem is the way I have been approaching the hurdles that keep popping up. Rather than feeling put out, or unappreciated or forgotten, I am starting to look at this time as an opportunity to use the God-given gifts, and health, and time that I have to serve those in my life with patience and love.
So, if you are ever really struggling or hurting or wondering, do NOT underestimate the power of a little, desperate, very ineloquent, rush hour prayer. It can do HUGE things in your life if you let it.
