School is scary. After being out for four years - I fear that I have forgotten how to go to school. And study. And retain that type of educational information.
I had to take my first online quiz last week, and was terrified (I did well, don't worry). It's the weirdest feeling. For such a huge part of your life you are conditioned to just learn and learn and learn. You know how to do it, and it becomes easy. And, it's all your expected to do.
Being thrown back into that environment is crazy, and a bit overwhelming. What and how you learn in the real world is different. It's on the go, fast-paced and trial and error. That's not how school is. You have to know it. And you have to know it now (or by the assigned test date).
My nights this week are going to be spent reading, reading, more reading, and making flash cards. Goodness. Been a while since I have had to do any of that.
I'm almost looking forward to the first tests in these classes so that I can reassure myself that I still know how to learn. And the additional pressure is on, since I basically have to get A's in all of my pre-req classes if I have any chance of getting into nursing school. Geeze.
What did I get myself into?? Nothing that I can't handle. I know that. Just takes a shift back to the good old days when structured learning was all I knew how to do!
Monday, January 24, 2011
Monday, January 10, 2011
Limbo and Dreams
Limbo. That frustrating, all-encompassing place that is in-between starting and finishing, and not close enough to either to make quitting whatever you are doing ok.
Dreams. What are you able to have once you are out of that state of limbo.
I have been through a mini personal journey over the past week from the current and comfortable, through a state of limbo, and out on the other end, to a place of dreams. Is limbo fun? No. Is working hard and jumping through ridiculous and tedious hoops fun? Not always. Is finally figuring something out and getting where you wanted to be fun? YES.
On my last day of holiday vacation from work (yes, of course I waited until the last day) I began really looking into nursing school. Have I talked about it forever? Yes. Had I filled out the initial application at IUPUI to start the process? Yes. Had I really looked into the details and/or made a commitment to do it? No.
So on this last day of break that I spent googling class pre-requisites and application requirements, and calling IUPUI, Ivy Tech, and IU School of Nursing - I took the plunge. From safety and security into limbo land. Which I may add, is not a place I have been for a long time.
As I began to research which classes I needed to take and where, I began to realize that if I do want to go back to nursing school - this is the time to do it! It was almost as everything was arranged perfectly to get my pre-reqs done quickly, while still working - and in the order they needed to be taken. As far as I can tell - if I had not jumped into the process now - it would take me several more years to get everything completed - just to apply to school. Who says there is no such thing as divine intervention?
However, my perfectly arranged schedule was not quite as easy to get to. Because it was so late in the game to sign up for classes - it took me days, two campus visits, dozens of phone calls, filling out multiple forms, learning how to use two university webistes, and sending several not pleasant emails to get anywhere.
But look at me! A week later, I am enrolled in 2 of the 3 classes I need to apply for nursing school, have my books ordered and am back in school for the first time in 4 years. And it feels really good.
I never really knew if I had it in me to make a big life change. Are there still lots of obstacles and problems I am going to have to solve over the next few years? Yes.
But this little exercise in making a tough choice, and working hard to get from point a to point b been fabulous for me. And proof that I really can do anything if I put my mind too it and trust in God to get me there.
So I did it. I officially started the next chapter in my life. And from a place where I let all my doubts and challenges discourage me and keep me where I was, to a place where I can dream about what my future might be like and have hope for something better, I can tell you - it's much better over here.
Dreams. What are you able to have once you are out of that state of limbo.
I have been through a mini personal journey over the past week from the current and comfortable, through a state of limbo, and out on the other end, to a place of dreams. Is limbo fun? No. Is working hard and jumping through ridiculous and tedious hoops fun? Not always. Is finally figuring something out and getting where you wanted to be fun? YES.
On my last day of holiday vacation from work (yes, of course I waited until the last day) I began really looking into nursing school. Have I talked about it forever? Yes. Had I filled out the initial application at IUPUI to start the process? Yes. Had I really looked into the details and/or made a commitment to do it? No.
So on this last day of break that I spent googling class pre-requisites and application requirements, and calling IUPUI, Ivy Tech, and IU School of Nursing - I took the plunge. From safety and security into limbo land. Which I may add, is not a place I have been for a long time.
As I began to research which classes I needed to take and where, I began to realize that if I do want to go back to nursing school - this is the time to do it! It was almost as everything was arranged perfectly to get my pre-reqs done quickly, while still working - and in the order they needed to be taken. As far as I can tell - if I had not jumped into the process now - it would take me several more years to get everything completed - just to apply to school. Who says there is no such thing as divine intervention?
However, my perfectly arranged schedule was not quite as easy to get to. Because it was so late in the game to sign up for classes - it took me days, two campus visits, dozens of phone calls, filling out multiple forms, learning how to use two university webistes, and sending several not pleasant emails to get anywhere.
But look at me! A week later, I am enrolled in 2 of the 3 classes I need to apply for nursing school, have my books ordered and am back in school for the first time in 4 years. And it feels really good.
I never really knew if I had it in me to make a big life change. Are there still lots of obstacles and problems I am going to have to solve over the next few years? Yes.
But this little exercise in making a tough choice, and working hard to get from point a to point b been fabulous for me. And proof that I really can do anything if I put my mind too it and trust in God to get me there.
So I did it. I officially started the next chapter in my life. And from a place where I let all my doubts and challenges discourage me and keep me where I was, to a place where I can dream about what my future might be like and have hope for something better, I can tell you - it's much better over here.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
2011
I haven't taken much time to stop and reflect on the turning of the new year. What with the holidays, social engagements and family in from out of town, time kind of slipped by me this year.
I have complained a bit to people close to me this year that I wasn't as into the Christmas season as I usually am - and I think that's because there were a few things missing from my life this holiday season. Most importantly - God. Dave and I always talk about how religion is very important to the both of us and how it is something that will always be a priority - but right now, we are not acting that way both as individuals and as a family. So that is the first, and pretty obvious.
The second is running. I love to run, it is how I focus, think through things, and pray. But, I have not made it a priority to continue to challenge myself to run daily and keep the body God has given me in good shape.
So, 2011 is the beginning of my 27th year of life. The 25 and 26th years sure were eventful - trips to Europe, engagements, home purchases, weddings (LOTS of them), a new puppy and a new last name.
So in looking forward to the new year - I resolve to make it a year less about the physical and superficial, and more about continuing to grow in my life spiritually, physically and in all those other ways that I have struggled with recently.
I have spent a lot of time the past couple of years worrying about other people, events and things - and this year, I vow to challenge myself in new ways to ensure that I become who God is calling me to be in this life.
Cheers to 2011!
I have complained a bit to people close to me this year that I wasn't as into the Christmas season as I usually am - and I think that's because there were a few things missing from my life this holiday season. Most importantly - God. Dave and I always talk about how religion is very important to the both of us and how it is something that will always be a priority - but right now, we are not acting that way both as individuals and as a family. So that is the first, and pretty obvious.
The second is running. I love to run, it is how I focus, think through things, and pray. But, I have not made it a priority to continue to challenge myself to run daily and keep the body God has given me in good shape.
So, 2011 is the beginning of my 27th year of life. The 25 and 26th years sure were eventful - trips to Europe, engagements, home purchases, weddings (LOTS of them), a new puppy and a new last name.
So in looking forward to the new year - I resolve to make it a year less about the physical and superficial, and more about continuing to grow in my life spiritually, physically and in all those other ways that I have struggled with recently.
I have spent a lot of time the past couple of years worrying about other people, events and things - and this year, I vow to challenge myself in new ways to ensure that I become who God is calling me to be in this life.
Cheers to 2011!
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