Burdens To Bear

So I had an amazing, clarifying, eye opening experience a few weeks ago. It happened, and instantly, after my initial surprise had passed, my first thought was “I need to write a blog about this”. But then I got to work and had a ridiculous number of emails waiting for me, and so it goes. My day was gone. And then the next and the next and the next.

However, this experience has been with me for a few weeks now, and I still want to share, so here goes. At the time, I had just had a job interview a few days prior, for a job I was REALLY excited about, that pays a LOT more than my current job (which subsequently would make things a LOT easier on Dave and I). I felt like I had done well, but then as time passed I started to over analyze, and rethink and wonder what I could have done better. By this point, I had talked myself into thinking it had gone terribly (which it didn’t). But, it was unbelievably stressing me out.

I was driving to work (and stressing, clearly) when I remembered the old phrase “give it to God”. So I just started praying (well, really just talking to God/myself). I think I said something along the lines of “Oh my God, I cannot handle this anymore. I do NOT need anymore stress in my life right now. I can’t do anything about that interview, WHY is it driving me insane??” Or something similar, but probably more crazy and rambling. And then literally, in that instant, I was filled with this HUGE sense of calm and peace. Seriously unbelievable. It was like all the stress I had (about that, and many other things) was just GONE. Totally gone. I remember thinking, holy shit – I should have done that a LONG time ago! I know there is a lot of scripture, and verses and even poetry about God bearing the weight of our problems, and getting us through seemingly impossible times, but I have NEVER experienced anything like that before. Ask and you shall receive I guess!

But then, my mind starts working and thinks, “WOW that feeling was SO amazing, could I ever, myself, give that feeling to someone else? Could I ever bear their burdens with that much grace and unending love? If I could ever in my life provide even a fraction of that sort of peace to someone else, how great would that be?” So, as it turns out, as most of you know, there are just a few people in my life right now who have some pretty heavy stuff going on. So, I have a few potential burdens to choose from. Kidding. Clearly if we could all do that so powerfully, we would all be God.

But, this experience has certainly opened my eyes to what the simple act of providing kindness, and grace and peace to others can do. I have challenged myself to become more gracious, and giving, and if I can, in anyway possible, make anothers burden easier to bear, then I will do just that.

This summer has been really, really challenging for me, but I honestly think a lot of the problem is the way I have been approaching the hurdles that keep popping up. Rather than feeling put out, or unappreciated or forgotten, I am starting to look at this time as an opportunity to use the God-given gifts, and health, and time that I have to serve those in my life with patience and love.

So, if you are ever really struggling or hurting or wondering, do NOT underestimate the power of a little, desperate, very ineloquent, rush hour prayer. It can do HUGE things in your life if you let it.

If you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all

I love this little gem of a quote from Bambi (I believe?). Lately, it feels like there is negativity EVERYWHERE. From comments on Facebook, emails at work and even conversations at home there is a lot of "blah" flying around out there. So in celebration of this beautiful Friday, I wanted to post a few happy things that I am wonderfully grateful for!

1. Sunshine
2. Finding out that the exact outfit I wanted to wear today was clean and folded (rare occurrence in our house)
3. Awesome, supportive friends
4. Sushi lunches with my dad
5. Going to see my cousins tomorrow
6. Dave's ankle finally feeling better
7. A good night's sleep
8. Dexter
9. Really nice love Facebook messages :)
10. Low stress work days
11. Meeting Lillian Marie this weekend
12. Friday nights at home

Happy Friday Everyone!

Babies, Babies, Babies!

No - not my babies, just to clarify.

It seems to be baby season among my close friends, co-workers, and neighbors. So many tiny ones expected in the next few months!

I wanted to say welcome to the world to the first of those tiny ones, one special little girl, Miss Lillian Marie Weigle. She was born on Wednesday, June 1 at 10:38 a.m. weighing 5 pounds and 14 ounces. Already tall and skinny like her mom Lauren!

Lauren is one of my best friends and I am so excited to watch her, Kris and Lillian as they start their little family!! I remember almost crying when Lauren told me she was pregnant last November - it's weird how you react when you find out a friend is pregnant (and by you, I mean me, clearly :). It's such a huge thing! And of course I remember us talking about babies and weddings all through college, it's hard to believe all of that is here.

Congratulations Lauren and Kris! Much love to this new little family!

Going Public.

Ok - so about a month ago I posted the link to this blog on my facebook page. BIG STEP for me, who, like Dave said - had been using this blog as an online journal for the past year.

I don't know what made me do it, finally make all these ramblings public, but I did, and there's no going back now (not that anyone has read this except Dave and my friend Erica :).

I will not lie, the mere fact that the link to the blog is out there has made me hesitant to post anything for fear that it wouldn't be good enough or everyone would think I was boring. Hence, the lack of postings for the last month or so.

But today - I finally have something POSITIVE and a little bit of note to post. Like most people close to me know, I have been BEYOND stressed out lately to the point of near emotional breakdown. Which again - if you know me, you know that is not all that common. School and work have been dragging me up, down, all over the place for the past month and a half. BUT, today I took my last test in my first nursing school pre-req and finished the class with an A. HUGE sign of relief here.

This whole decision to go back to school has already been a crazy journey and I'm not even close to finishing - but today helped reinforce that it will be worth it!

So all you people out there (or Dave and Erica) welcome to my world.

Hopefully I'll have some more deep worldy insight for you soon!

The Almost Spring Blues

Today has hit me hard with the almost spring blues. It's gray out - almost sunny, but not quite. It's cool - almost warm, but not quite. Almost spring, but not quite. The excessive research I have been doing on financial stability/planning/budgeting for the job has NOT helped with lifting the gray cloud. Blah.

And as a direct reflection of the blah's - that's all I got for this post. Back with some inspiration tomorrow.

It's a Dog's Life

Man - how nice would it be to live the life of a pup? Huh? Look at this! Not bad at all my friends. Sleep, play, eat and sleep some more.

Our lives are crazy right now. With the house, jobs, school, family, friends, pup and volunteer work it seems like there's not always enough time in the day to get everything done, let alone done well.

How can you be the best wife at the same time as being the best employee, best friend, best daughter, best furry pup mother, best student and best volunteer? It is overwhelming and scary. I had a minor freak out on Monday when I felt all of the above crashing down around me. What a way to spend a day off huh?

After some wine and some deep breaths - I realized that I am lucky to be blessed with all of the above opportunities that are causing this little "problem", and that maybe I need to shift some priorities, get a little less sleep, suck it up and get it done.

There doesn't seem to be a sweet loving way around it - it's all about bucking it up, being a bad ass, and making every minute of the day count. Today is my day 1 of being a bad ass. We'll see how it goes.

Good look everyone in being the best everything that you are, all the time. Let me know how it goes :)

Valentine's Day

Now, I know there are a lot of differing opinions out there on Valentine's Day. A lot of people LOVE the holiday. They love finding the perfect card and gift for the one they love, having a candlelit romantic dinner, and sending flowers.

Then, there are those on the complete opposite end of the spectrum. They hate the holiday and its forced romanticism, the overpriced gifts and the focus on the all too superficial aspects of love.

There's also the Singles Awareness Day folks - who hate the one day every year when they are most aware that they are alone (at least in a romantic sense).

I am shockingly one of the Valentine's day lovers. I know, I know. Very unexpected. However, I never had a chance to really show that (due to all the nonexistent and/or terrible relationships I was in) until 5 years ago, when I met the boy who would eventually become my husband.

On our 5th Valentine's (well technically fourth, it's a long story - you all know it) Day together I just wanted to make sure that he knew how thankful I am to finally have my Valentine in the most wonderful, caring and loving person I have ever met.

It brings tears to my eyes every time I think about how lucky I am to have him in my life. I have never felt so loved and supported and cherished, and I thank God everyday for blessing my life with that kind of love. I cannot believe I am so lucky.

Happy Valentine's Day, Dave. Thank you for loving me.